Here is a $64,000 question...When do you know you are doing a good job as a parent?? I mean, at what point can you sit back, kick your feet up, and say "Wow...I did an awesome job raising my kids!"?? I am sure I have a ways to go yet...cause I have yet to feel like the second moment yet. I keep asking myself about number one...and the fact I have no answers is kinda scary.
Do you do this?? I am sure all parents do. I am sure my mom still does...and if my dad were still alive, most likely he would be too. I have come to the realization, that you may never really know. But you stick to your guns, and you give it your all, and you raise your child to the best of your ability. Couple of things that I have experienced that I thought I would share...
1) Kids & Vegetables...why won't they eat them?? OK...we all have gone thru this at some point...and if you haven't...you will...and it will be an interesting experience to say the least. My eldest son Jack, who is now 8, hates almost every vegetable known to man. And he is not afraid to let you know it. "Oh...yuck...it's a green vegetable...I hate them!!" Green beans, Broccoli, Corn, Brussel Sprouts, etc... The one vegetable he does like...Carrots. That's a start. He will occasionally change his tune and eat Corn on the Cob. But Carrots is his favorite. To get him to eat anything else, is like trying to pull teeth. It's ridiculous. "Do I have to eat that?" is a very common phrase at dinner for us. It's laughable sometimes, because you expect it, and sometimes he just doesn't wanna deal with it...so is quiet and eats the veggies, and moves on. But that is a rare occurrence in itself. Now of course on the flip side...my youngest, Jonny, who is 4...eats EVERY VEGETABLE!!! And he has no problem trying to rub that in Jack's face. He even asks for seconds...and Jack just responds with the fact his brother is weird, and possibly part alien from outer space. Ah...Siblings!!!
2) Ever get this one..."What is this yucky stuff on my plate? Do I have to eat it? Can I have something else instead?" Again...my 8 yr old...not a big fan of trying new things yet. Although...while on vacation...he tried the lobster dinner...and HE LOVED IT!! However, like I said...he is not a big fan of trying things, and he rarely is willing to try something new!!! The other night...perfect example...my wife made Salisbury Steak. Now while it may not have looked like something too edible to a child...it looked fine to me...and Jonny of course loved it. Jack made a rude comment, something like "the most grossest thing he ever saw" which didn't make mommy happy. And she let him know how it hurt, and how it felt to hear that. He sorta apologized...and he left the table...and came back after we were all done, and he decided to try it. And yes he ate it all...including the broccoli!! I can't really say what motivated him...but maybe he heard me say...she and I will cook for the 3 of us...and give Jack bread and butter...to see how he feels then. But he wasn't at the table when I said it. So who knows??
3) Anyone else's kid feel the need to bring their favorite toy everywhere they go?? My eldest does, which has rubbed off on the youngest...and the problem is that lately...it's Legos. Really?? Legos?? Every time he goes somewhere, unless it is told beforehand, he tries to bring them. And lots of times, it is a contraption made up of a bunch of little pieces. And then the little pieces get lost. Then he gets mad, or upset, and when you try to explain to him that he should not have brought them in the first place, he doesn't care...you can't leave until he finds the pieces!! This has resulted in declaring before we go anywhere...you may or may not bring anything with you...and if he can...anything but legos!!!
4) "Why can't I get that??
nsert Name> has it...and it's really cool!!" This is always tough. Half the time, it's a toy that you know he shouldn't have, or won't take care of, or will break in minutes of owning it. The other half of the time, you just don't have the money for it, cause you just spent it on groceries, car repairs, or any other thing that life has shown you must buy for necessity, not for pleasure. My first response is usually, "Well i am not 's parent...I am yours...and I say no." But then it turns into the other thing...trying to make him realize, you either can't afford it, or he needs to convince me he will take care of it and it will last. Oh...and never fall for the "I promise never to ask for anything else again" line, cause as soon as you give in...I guarantee, whether in 5 min, 5 days, 5 weeks, etc...he will ask for something else again!!!
5) This is a tough one...it's a Sunday...it's 5pm...you have not done anything all day, except all kinds of household chores, while they have either vegged out on the TV, or played video games, or whatever to occupy themselves with while you did what needs to be done...and then they decide..."can we call up for a play date? I am bored and wanna play with them." Then you have to explain to them, that at 5pm on a Sunday is never a good time to call up someone for a playdate that late. And they don't wanna hear it. And I feel bad for him...but I didn't know doing the chores that I did, were gonna take so long. And it does suck, when you get the feeling, they wasted the day. So...I guess in the future...when you know it's a chore day for ya...see who may be around to keep your kids occupied so they don't go insane with your responsibility madness.
Well...that's some decent examples/experiences I thought I would share. And God Bless my wife Christy...she puts up with a lot from me. And lately it is times where she is constantly explaining to me how I need to change the way I talk to my boys. I am guilty of talking at them and not to them more often than not. I keep trying...and trying to remember. I may never get it 100% right...but I will always try hard, and give it my all.
So...I guess, in hindsight, the answer to the $64,000 question...how do you know...well you may never know, but you just keep trying and never give up. You keep letting them know how much you love them, how you will be there for them always, and hope that everything you do and teach, works out for the best. I think I have done a pretty damn good job of raising them thus far...and I know I got a LONG WAYS to go...but I believe in us...as a family...and we can accomplish anything together!!! So never say quit, never lose faith, and always believe!!!
Till next time!!!
